The Social Status Game

Humans are very into status competitions – the money game, who's the richest? The popularity game, who's got more 'friends' (not the good kind of popular), who held the biggest parties? The smarts game, how 'intelligent' are you? got highest marks? The looks game, who's more muscular, taller, prettier, with better curves? The religious game, who's the most righteous?

Biologically, it seems we're wired for hierarchy. Psychologically, no matter how messed up someone is, humans always find a way to convince themselves they're special while pointing out flaws in others. There's, of course, exceptions to every rule.

Therefore, I absolutely admire those who have self-awareness and the perceptiveness to understand the people around them. People who doesn't judge right away but choose to understand.

We're all caught up in our own social games, shaping our relationships and demands.

I've noticed this hierarchy tendency in places like dorms and churches. People with similar traits naturally group together – 'Jocks/ Frat boys,' 'Nerds,' and 'Histrionics.' Each group tends to look down on the others, creating a negative atmosphere.

But here's the thing: each group thinks they're winning their own status game. In reality, they're just focusing on what matters to them. In the dance of social interaction, consider two people from different worlds – a military person and an intellectual. Despite initial unease, they find common ground, realizing that status isn't uniform.

The story unfolds with symbols of status varying, much like Monopoly tokens in different games. We're not in a single competition but different games with unique markers of status. Understanding this transforms how we interact, fostering empathy. We're not all striving for the same thing; we celebrate diverse achievements that enrich our collective story. So, encountering someone with different symbols of status means glimpsing a different game in the intricate tale of human connections.

However, let's explore a different approach this time: instead of being dismissive, show genuine interest and curiosity, essentially saying, "Do well in your domain, and I won't interfere."

I've gained valuable insights from different people at dorm – a cooking enthusiast who dedicates time to prepare fantastic meals, an ex-military individual who tactically plans and cooks a week's worth of meals for efficiency, and an athlete who manages physical and mental well-being through disciplined practices. Additionally, I've learned beauty tips from someone passionate about makeup and luxury brands.

I firmly reject the notion that focusing on appearance is inherently shallow. Likewise, being deeply engrossed in books without developing any social skills doesn't automatically equate to cultural sophistication. I genuinely believe that dismissing other forms of knowledge, skills, and perspectives while exclusively prioritizing what aligns with your values is the true shallowness and ignorance.

Continuing the narrative, we observe that the symbols representing status vary as much as the criteria. When the military person steps into the intellectual's space, filled with books and paintings, their usual symbols of power lose some shine. Similarly, when the intellectual enters the military person's world, they acknowledge the different significance of physical prowess.

The crux of the matter is that we're not all in a single competition. We're engaged in different games, each with its unique markers of status. Picture the tokens in a game like Monopoly – each game has its own set of tokens representing status symbols. Similarly, in our social games, we're using different symbols based on our specific areas of focus.

Grasping this concept is like uncovering a hidden code within human interactions, exposing a fundamental truth: our relationships are intricately shaped by the unique status games each of us plays, much like a symphony where everyone contributes their individual melodies. Unfortunately, this understanding is not widespread, particularly in environments of lower quality. Here, positive qualities such as manners, politeness, and generosity are often misinterpreted as weaknesses, as if yielding. In places where indecent behavior and rudeness prevail, acts of kindness and niceness might be perceived as a form of submission. Choosing not to engage in gossip, drama, or cliques was rather be seen as a lack of social power, stemming from the belief that such behaviors are necessary for survival in communities where negativity is the norm.

Recognizing that people place value on different things fundamentally shifts our approach to interacting with others. A notable example is when dealing with individuals of lower quality, one may realize that tactics such as intimidation, force, and ruthlessness can be more effective influencers than relying solely on logic, moral arguments, or presenting the pros and cons. This aligns with the wisdom captured in the Chinese saying, "小人畏威不畏德."

Speak in their language of the status game, and you'll earn their respect.

Ultimately, what people seek in the world is respect and admiration. They attain this recognition either by demonstrating their wisdom, love, or success in specific areas. If they can't get this, individuals may turn to their material possessions. For example, flaunting luxury purchases and highlighting achievements may repel those who value internal qualities, yet it undoubtedly captures the attention of those who prioritize superficial aspects. Similarly, an individual engaging in cultural events, showcasing talents, and adhering strictly to manners may be considered pretentious by those lacking cultural awareness, while such behaviors are routine within cultured communities.

Moreover, the definition of positive qualities can vary significantly among individuals. One person may view authenticity as being loud, blunt, and disregarding 'pretentious' manners, while another may see authenticity in staying true to values, personality, and opinions despite external pressures. These differing perspectives lead individuals to gravitate toward distinct friend groups. The diverse interpretations of the same qualities contribute to a wide range of opinions and types of people. This phenomenon aligns with the saying that birds of a feather flock together, as individuals find comfort and connection with those who share similar views.

At the end of the day, there's no merit in looking down on or judging others who don't prioritize what we value, as they may not even value the same things. People find pride in different aspects of life. If you're eager to compare, compete within your own scope. If you want to grow, explore different mindsets and cultures. If you want to be happy, find your people.

At PENSOUL, we're here to celebrate diverse achievements that enhance our collective narrative. So, when you encounter someone with different symbols of status, you're essentially catching a glimpse of a different game, adding another intriguing chapter to the intricate story of human connections.

有時候，社會上確實存在著許多遊戲化社會地位的情境，這些情境要求人們遵守某些看似重要的規則或潛規則。然而，對那些看到更深層的人來說，這些規則可能只是表面的東西，而真正有價值和意義的東西往往被忽略了。

在這種情況下，選擇不參與這種遊戲可能會被視為反叛或"傻"，因為許多人習慣於按部就班地遵循這些規則。但是，對於那些有自己原則和價值觀的人來說，他們更關注的是真正的內在價值和美好事物，而不是為了迎合別人而遵守那些表面規則。

當然，這種態度可能會招致某些人的攻擊或不解，因為他們認為你的行為是在挑戰他們習以為常的遊戲規則, 有的會覺得你傲慢， 還有的會以爲你真的傻白甜到不曉得規則，而趁機欺負擁有更高社會地位的你。然而，最終當你能夠以自己的方式達成目標時，這些人才會看到你的獨特之處 （這些人千萬不要買股票，永遠完美錯過紅利），理解你的原則和對遊戲規則的態度。他們才能意識到，你不是因為不能贏/不會玩而選擇不參與，而是因為不喜歡這個遊戲本身。

在某些情況下，我們可能需要在表面上做些讓步或採取策略，以保護和維護那些真正有價值的東西。這種方式不僅是為了保護自己的原則，也是為了確保真善美在社會中得以持續存在。能無聲抗爭去維護真善美，前提是有這個不玩游戲還能贏的能力和資本。有時候也是要告訴別人誰是老大。畢竟俗話説：衣帽震小人，言語壓君子，先敬羅衣後敬人，先敬皮囊后敬魂。不把表面功夫做好，愚蠢小人真的會橫衝直撞。

總之，堅持自己的內心和擁有判斷價值的能力是很重要的，儘管這可能會帶來一些挑戰和誤解。最終，真正的成就和價值往往是在超越表面規則之後獲得的。